Life in a Long Distance Relationship

long distance relationship, tips, problems, my lavender tinted world

As Valentine’s day is next week I wanted to talk about something that has been happening more and more with relationships. That’s right, I’m talking about the dreaded “long distance relationships”! Now there’s a stigma that long distance relationships are doomed to fail and that you won’t be able to survive one. But I say nay to that ideology! However, this may have something to do with my own personal experiences.

My partner, Ryan, and I have been in a relationship for nearly 4 year. It’s not been entirely comprised of long distance but half of it has. As some of you may have read before I studied languages, French and Spanish to be precise, and I had to live in France and Spain for around 6 months each. That was the first time we were separated by distance as Ryan was living in Germany as well! (He studied German at the same university as me). I won’t lie, it was difficult the first time around as we were barely able to speak. He had the worst internet in the world and I didn’t know what was happening with him, and it turned out afterwards that some things had been going on with him that he hadn’t been able to tell me, or perhaps he thought he had told me as he can be quite forgetful at times!

But despite the lack of proper communication for those 12 months we were able to have a somewhat decent relationship. We used to just leave each other messages through Facebook because we knew that at some point we would be able to access them. And no, whatsapp would not have been better as Ryan didn’t have it and he’s not great at look at his texts never mind an application that he has to remember to use internet with! Sometimes I do despair of  his less technologically-inclined mind, but I wouldn’t have him any other way.

After the year apart, we were back together in the same place for 9 months to do out last year at university, which might as well have been another long distance stint as we had to spend more time on studying than being able to see each other. Whoever thinks that a relationship at university is cute hasn’t had to contend with the horrors of 3 essays due in the same week that all require extensive research! There is no time for socialising! Or anything other than sitting in a library and crying at the way your life has suddenly turned out.

For the past 5 and half months we have been back in the long distance thing, and not just because we live in different parts of the UK (which is only like 2 hours apart or so and a lot more preferable than the current set up.) In September Ryan went back to Germany, Berlin to be specific, to teach in a school and a month later I headed out to Madrid to do the same thing. And since then we have only seen each other twice in person. Once in October for a week when Ryan came to visit me in Madrid and once at Christmas for a couple of days. This time round it’s been easier as he’s had better internet and we’ve been able to actually have Skype conversations! Such luxury!

A friend once said to me that “a long distance relationship is like being single but with none of the benefits” and I have to say that I completely agree. You do not get the best of any world in this type of situation! There is nothing worse than having a bad day at work and not being able to talk to your partner about it. Or sending them a message that they won’t be able to see for a few hours or even a few days.

For anyone who is in a long distance relationship, or a relationship that may have to change to a long distance one, don’t give up hope. Yes, it is more difficult to keep the relationship going and yes it means having more patience but in the end it is so worth it. You appreciate the other person so much more and the time you do get to spend with them is made so much more worthwhile. There will be days when you feel like giving up but I suggest that you talk about all of your problems together and try and not keep things from each other. As with any relationship trust is key, but it is even more important for a relationship like this.

If you have any questions on long distance relationships then leave them for me in the comments! I answer all the comments I receive.

Hasta la fuego

Lauren ๐Ÿ™‚ x

10 Replies to “Life in a Long Distance Relationship”

  1. Great post as always:) xx

  2. How do you deal with trust in your relationship?

  3. I've never had any problems with trusting Ryan. But we've always told each other when something weird has happened, for instance I sent a text at 4am telling me that a German girl had come onto him in a bar and I've sent him messages when the same had happened to me in France and Spain. I think talking is one of the most important parts of any relationship but it is even more essential with a relationship of distance. However, if you don't trust your partner then it is unlikely that you ever will, and that will cause more problems than you could possibly imagine. I hope this helped! Lauren ๐Ÿ™‚ x

  4. Thanks Nat ๐Ÿ˜€ x

  5. Hi,loved your post, I was in a long distance relationship and it was terrible!!! Ok, no I'm kidding, It was a long distance relationship since the beginning, I met him on a spring break and we we're talking for 6 months before we went on our first date, from that moment we get to see each other once every 2 months, after a year and a half dating he proposed me and we just move in together happier than ever and planning our wedding ๐Ÿ™‚ Sometimes being in a long distance relationship is very hard but also it helps to make the relationship stronger, there is more communication than physical contact which is good because you get to know better the other person, and as you said in the previous comment it is all about trust.
    I'm glad things are working better with your boyfriend now that you both have good internet.

  6. I completely agree with everything you say ๐Ÿ˜€ I think it does help to make the relationships stronger. I don't think that this relationship will break down because we know each other really well as people, we understand the other person and I think that's important. Thanks, I'm glad we have better internet as well! It was really difficult the first time around with no internet!
    Lauren ๐Ÿ™‚ x

  7. A very sensitive post. You've raised some really important issues. I think you being in a long distance relationship shows that you're a very strong person; you need to be strong yourself in order to be able to be strong for another and maintain a relationship that gives you extra hardships and less perks. Very admirable, keep it up! ๐Ÿ™‚

  8. Thank you for reading it ๐Ÿ™‚ I just wanted to raise awareness that long distance doesn't necessarily have to be a deal breaker as so many people find it does! I completely agree with you. If you are strong in yourself then you can be strong for someone else no matter the distance ๐Ÿ™‚
    Lauren ๐Ÿ™‚ x

  9. That quote your friend said is so true!
    What a lovely post and inspiring to read for someone who is in the same position.

    Sophie x

  10. I know! I feel like not enough people think of it like that (ie the people not in the relationship)
    Lauren ๐Ÿ™‚ x

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