A few months ago I wrote a post about how this year seems to have thrown a few spanners in the works and how one of them was my break-up of a 5 year long relationship. I didn’t go into it in a lot of detail but the main reason it ended was because I realised I’d fallen out of love with my partner. It’s not something you want to admit to and it’s not something I ever thought would happen and it honestly sucks.
It was a long distance relationship that I thought would stand the test of time. We’d grown together, we’d experienced new things together and I thought we’d grow old together as well. It’s a little bittersweet how life can knock the wind out of you with a simple change of heart. I even wrote a post back in 2015 about the relationship and how I believed we would defy the odds (you can read it here.) But unfortunately some things are not meant to be.
I’m not going to go into a lot of the details of this particular ending as I don’t believe it’s fair to talk about something so personal when I’ve not asked the other person involved if that’s okay. But I did want to talk about falling out of love, and how it’s not the end of the world. For me, the worst part about it was the fact that I was no longer romantically in love with my partner but I still cared for him. I pushed aside my doubts for months because I didn’t want to acknowledge them and hurt him. In the end I realised that I couldn’t carry on with something that I wasn’t happy with any more.
It’s weird to realise you’re no longer in love with your partner, especially when popular culture will have us believe that love is always and forever. It wasn’t something that I was expecting that is for sure. But it is okay to have your feelings change. It doesn’t make you a bad person but you do need to accept what it is that you’re feeling. I found it futile to wonder “what if” during this period of my life. You can’t what if with feelings. Sure, there could have been more communication on both sides throughout the entire relationship and that might have helped. But even then it’s still only a might.
I think what I’ve learnt the most from this experience is that communication is key. Talking about things instead of life carrying on as normal, is the best thing that you can do in any sort of relationship. It might still end up with an undesirable outcome or it might clear the air and resolve any issues you might have been feeling. Hopefully, whatever the outcome it will make positive changes in your life in the long run.
Hasta la fuego